He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i believe in u and ur pee
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