i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
