Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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