It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you would pick up someone in the library
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
