There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
