fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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