are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
