The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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