just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
