Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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