Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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