I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
