South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I want you more than these girls want KFC
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
