im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize