I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
