I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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