he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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