the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
