ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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