so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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