Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
