Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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