my sisters under your porch take her home
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
