He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We left the knife in your bed.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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