I'm so fucking centered right now
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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