Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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