And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
