He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
