connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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