please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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