An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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