If that was your dad, he is hot
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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