Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
