I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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