i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
