Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
