oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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