What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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