Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
