the condom got lost in my hair
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm at about main and main street
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
