I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
