That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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