margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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