I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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