You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
