This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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