I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
