I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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