I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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