ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
