About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
