youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
