What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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