Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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