im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
