Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
