TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
