what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
