You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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